There are those Couriers who race within the ranks of the USCF and NORBA at advanced levels kicking ass. Racing professionally takes dedication and hard work as is evidenced by the training schedules of those who deign to take the civilian track in racing.

This year an explosion of Alleycat races have blossomed around the world, most specifically in North America.

Every city that hosts Alleycat racing has its own particular way of doing things that gives an Alleycat circuit rider different tastes of Courierdom. Unlike regular racing there is no point series on this circuit. Generally speaking, prizes are doled out after each particular race. Since the full-fledged sponsorship of the travelling velodrome in Canada, Alleycat racing has grown in popularity, perhaps because in the case of several races, the prize of a round-trip airfare to first Vancouver and now Toronto was a real treat. The thing is that though the Couriers who ride the Alleycats, ride hard and try to win, winning is not paramount. Competing seems to be the purest ways that guys bond.

BOSTON CRAZY 8'S

Boston is one fucking confusing city. As Little John remarked repeatedly, "We took three left turns to get there and when I asked the Boston Couriers if we had just circled around they just said, yeah, I know but that's the only way you can get there". Boston wasn't just confusing, it was cold and disgusting as well. Everyone was overjoyed by this fact (so they said), especially the NY boys who assured everyone that they were in their element. One Chicago boy remarked candidly that it was " a really shitty day." Coming from Chicago, a comment like that cannot be taken lightly, granted the young man was clad in a breezy T-shirt and leggings.

There were some 120 racers from about 5 cities; Richmond, DC, NY, TO and SF. The Toronto boys didn't complain, they didn't race. Airfare was excruciating enough then the $150 American to bring the bikes was just too much. No worries they still had fun.

Lacking maps and genetic knowledge of Boston, the out of towners were at a considerable disadvantage. One is inclined to think that maybe the Boston crew wanted to cultivate their hometown advantage. Believe me, map or no map, I still wouldn't have known where the hell to go. Like the other racers from out of town, I tagged along. I leap frogged from one Boston boy to the next. Others on different occasions discovered they had to leap frog other out of towners, becoming exceedingly lost.

Unbelievably, a Boston cat won. Bobeck, of CMWC fame was watching Sat. a.m. cartoons debating whether or not to race. When he came out it had been $888 worth of a good decision. Bobeck will go down in Courier history for winning the sprints competition on a piece of shit track bike that he had bought for around $20 just before the championships.

After the race there was a huge chaotic party in a crappy walk-up on Boylston. What distinguished this location was the fact that the super cool owner of Performance allowed us to wreak havoc in his building, and that partying required walking up 5 God-awful flights of stairs. An annoying habit I have noticed in my fellow Couriers is a propensity for epic excruciating journeys to parties. To party with Couriers, one must be resigned to pushing the limit of exhaustion to A. keep up with a blistering pace, B. brave the worst of the elements and C. embark on a Lewis and Clark style adventure blazing trails through piles of garbage, miles of cold beach, off-roading on dismal wasted trails through the most dangerous of neighborhoods to find the party. To a Courier, around the bend will undoubtedly mean shedding blood and riding on an empty stomach.

The partying didn't stop after Boylston. Hordes descended upon the eatery where plans were made to enjoy the talents of the naked at a local strip joint. Dave St. Germaine, true to his reputation, left his compatriots with the memory of a young lad throwing money at a glistening filly declaring "take it, take it all." What Courier event is complete without the Germaine losing his mind?

Toronto: Valentines. No clue what went on there, but one could easily surmise that Messengers raced and got drunk.

Montreal: Bunch of NY boys went up to that bilingual race. One guy missed the first checkpoint because he thought instructions were "in front of the Building" instead of "across the street." Damn French Messengers, wait, he was French-Canadian. Fun was had by all especially the NY cat who got to take home a Montreal traffic citation for running a red light.

SF has frequent alleycats. Usually it’s a very punishing course. There are walls and stairs to climb, obscure alleys that even 15 year vets have never heard of, but I can't tell you a damn thing about their recent races because those lame asses never write back!

Richmond: Ides of March.

Excellent race, maps provided, interesting instructions well versed pointing you to exactly where you needed to go. Miles, miles, miles. Hills, hills, hills. A point to point. Chilly but bearable weather 20 some Couriers invaded from DC 5:30 PM on a Saturday, excellent for out of towners. Winner a Richmond guy described as an animal. Also categories for DC winners (Except girls) cool trophies; paintings laced into wheels. Small intimate party 2 hrs or so. Food at cool diner on 3rd St. 15-20 Couriers at once upset this old guy, he copped a 'tude and the Couriers claiming bullshit, nearly left until a cute blonde waitress apologized for his assholishness. Matt was lost in the chaos, most of that chaos taking place in his own head. Larry the amazing and Heidi the Hammerhead along with Chris, that tall cutie with long hair and Eric the fixgear maniac motored down to Richmond from DC a la bike. Very windy ride but the DC horde would not be stopped. James the bald and burly and AZ the eclectic flat fixer both won prizes and Richmond guys were fun if not a little warped.

DC: Valentines.

When we got out there it was wet and cold. It was a points amassing race a lot of miles and several chances to make bonus points. Women were recognized in this race. THC won and said that the only time he rode with any kind of pack is when everyone took off from the bar in a mad dash to Dupont. Madam's was crowded afterward with a bunch of people making merry, Chicken Wing claiming he could've kicked all of our asses. The prize was a round trip to T.O. for the Dunhill Velodrome. Notable figures should be the numerous helpful checkpoint people. Not since the CMWC '96 have I seen so many people helping w/checkpoints and DC had 20. Nice job AZ.

Vancouver Velodrome: Back in November or so Vancouver had a race and their T.O. countrymen were terribly disappointed with their attitudes, acting like their shoes didn't stink. Participants came from around the globe. Don't know who won, sneaking suspicion it was a German. I'm awful with results have you, my reader noticed? Vancouver was fun and beautiful but all kinds of Messengers left with a bad taste in their mouths for V's Messengers. Maybe they were having a collective bad weekend.

Chicago had a confusing race that Top Gump a DC Courier won. Samantha the lovely got split from everybody and had to ride through a dangerous neighborhood to get to the party. Passing a police cruiser with her long golden locks, the officers were motivated to drop their donuts and pull her over. Samantha explained that she didn't know where the hell she was going and the police, concerned for her safety, gave her a police escort all the way to the party.

By eyewitness accounts, the party was strange. Guys danced with guys, few checks present. That's what a Lake Michigan lake effect winter will do you.

LA had never had its own Alleycat before Kevin, Squid, Bolger. Squid went to LA from NY. When he found out that the last Messenger race was sponsored by their companies, he decided to take action. Some 15 Messengers showed up to LA's 1st ever Alleycat. Pretty good showing considering there are only about 50 messengers in LA. Afterwards there was a rave and everyone had a marvelous time.

NY this July 4th will be having an Alleycat and Squid and his buddies will be sending out info nationwide. The cool thing about NY is the Macy's parade and fireworks. It's bound to be fund because NY is mayhem on an average day and sheer lunacy on the 4th of July. If you decide to go to NY let'm know you're coming.